Will “Modern” Life Ever Feel Right?

Jervis Bay, Australia 2017

Short answer. I don't know. Long answer, keep reading.

This feeling evades me and sinks deep. Is something wrong with me? Something wrong with the world at large? Is everything moving so fast within a circus of insanity that we can't catch our breath?

Life is hard. Being human is hard. Pain is hard. And I think a lot of people spiritually bypass reality. Life is not a walk in the park surrounded by butterflies and birds on a daily basis. Those moments do happen, but it’s not an every day experience. 

We have bills, we have responsibilities, we have relationships to constantly navigate. We have jobs, we have to make money to live on planet earth. What if life wasn’t driven by money? Would it still feel this way?

I love money, I love what it does for me. The experiences it provides, the home I live in and the organic food I am fortunate to buy. It allows me to get acupuncture, an adjustment from my osteopath, take a yoga class, and have tea with a friend. I can't live without it. Sure, there are homeless and jobless people living without money, finding food, water and shelter where they can. But do they feel alive?

I've been fortunate to feel the difference between living, and what it feels like to be alive.

When I move, swim, dance, sing, and run. Dancing - that's when I feel it most.

You know what's weird? I forget all the time that these activities make me feel alive. Yoga does it too, and so does jumping in a cold plunge.

Most people live sedentary lifestyles. Except some people aren't so jaded by that like I am. My husband, for instance, moves his body in some way every day. Maybe that's why he's so happy all the time. Cycling, tennis, and constantly asking me for a massage. And the fact that he's a man and doesn't have the finely tuned (or out of tune) complexities of a hormonal orchestra, could help.

Maybe I'm doomed because I have 7 planets in Capricorn. Capricorn is all about the climb. Get to the top of one mountain, then climb the next. I’ll work really hard and don’t care for the reward, just keep working. That seems exhausting.

What makes you feel alive?